


Bruises You Can't See

by Masterofceremonies



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, sex mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 17:22:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8110930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterofceremonies/pseuds/Masterofceremonies
Summary: Kirk's been "injured" on a mission, but he won't say how. Spock manages to pry it out of him by... well by standing there.





	

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING. While not explicit, this deals with emotional issues regarding hypersexuality. I wrote this because we see plenty of Kirk's "playboy" manner in AOS which many have hypothesized are a result of trauma. BUT if this is true, we never see any "fallout".   
> So here's some fallout.

Spock’s fingers twitched with the need to do something, anything, as long as it was productive. Sitting by, doing nothing, being inert and useless was driving him up a wall. 

Of course, his expression was as impassive as ever, the only betraying sign of his pent up and nervous energy being the ever so slight tremor in his hands. It was microscopic by human standards. Blatantly obvious by Vulcan ones.

Finally, his communicator beeped to signify an incoming message. With a rushed but fluid grace, he pulled it out and flipped it open.

“Commander Spock.” He said, only a hint of tension in his voice.

“Scotty here.” The engineer’s accented voice replied. “Kirk’s beamed back aboard. Mission was a success.” Spock paused, digesting this positive information in contrast with the upset tone Scotty was using.

“Where is the captain now?” Spock asked slowly.

“Sickbay.” Scotty answered, distress leaking through even more blatantly. “McCoy took him there as soon as he’d beamed up.”

Spock shut the communicator without replying, already up and heading to sickbay before he had even consciously decided what to do. The turbo lift seemed to take twice as long as normal, Spock’s impatience growing with every passing second. When he finally made it into sickbay, he felt ready to burst.

“Heya Spock.” Kirk was sitting on an examination table, shirtless and shoeless, but completely unharmed, and looking no worse for the wear than when he had left. “Come to check up on me?

Spock felt a momentary surge of relief, and actually let out a slightly longer breath than usual, what could possibly be labeled as a “sigh” by Vulcan standards, before he felt an overwhelming sense of annoyance, both with his own reactivity, and with the unnecessary string of events that had led him to needlessly occupy his thoughts with concerns over Kirk’s well-being when the man was obviously fine.

“Captain.” He replied stiffly. Well… stiffer than usual. “I was under the impression that you were injured in some way.”

Something like regret and embarrassment flashed over Kirk’s face, the man’s expression turning uncomfortable even as he continued to display what Spock had learned was his “patented charming smile”.

“Bones just wanted to do a checkup to make sure I didn’t catch any alien smallpox or something like that.”

“I find that hard to believe given that smallpox was an earth disease eradicated in the 20th century.” Spock frowned, earning an eyeroll from Kirk. Before the captain could reply, Bones entered through the door that led to his office, eyes fixed on a PADD display, grumbling to himself as usual.

“Completely normal readings. Of course, that’s not normal in the slightest…” He trailed off, looking up and seeming to realize he wasn’t alone. “What’s the hobgoblin doing here?” He snapped.

“I was checking in on the captains physical well being.” Spock replied curtly, well used to Bones’ nicknames for him. “Mr. Scott’s human fallacies apparently led him to needlessly express concern over his condition, which in turn caused me to incorrectly assume the worst.”

“Yeah, well, don’t go blaming Scotty, now.” Bones huffed. “There is something wrong with him, I just can’t figure out what.”

Spock arched an eyebrow, turning to Kirk skeptically. “The captain assured me he was in good health. What has led you to believe otherwise?”

“The captain doesn’t like being talked about like he’s not here.” Kirk interrupted. “And furthermore, the captain _is_ in good health, and would like the doctor to stop poking at him like a lab rat.”

“Oh bull.” Bones muttered. “People in good health don’t act like they’ve been struck by lightening when someone touches them.” He walked over to Kirk and jabbed a hypo in his arm, drawing blood and turning on his heel before leaving.

“Don’t rile him up.” He called over his shoulder to Spock, who was staring openly at Kirk. “In fact, you should go.” The door slid shut behind him, leaving the two other men alone in an increasingly awkward silence.

“Would you care to provide some insight as to what occurred after your beam up?”

“I just had some… transporter sickness. Bones went to grab my arm and I jerked away, he thought it was a symptom of some disease, so he dragged me down here.” Kirk shrugged. “No biggie.”

“Transporter sickness does not exist, and could not, given that your form does not undergo any sort of actual movement, the atoms are merely disassembled and rearranged. There are no effects of transportation in such a manner that could lead to your reaction.” Spock paused. “Jim.” He began, in a much softer tone. “What occurred during the mission that caused you to behave in this way.”

Kirk bit his lip, sighing heavily and rubbing his face. “There was… this guy. Older. Bigger…”

“He attacked you?” Spock frowned, eyes scanning Kirk’s body just in case he had missed some abrasion or injury.

“No.” Kirk shook his head quickly. “It’s not like that.” Sighing again, his gaze dropped to the floor, body curling in on itself slightly. “I needed to get close to him. The easiest way to get it was to charm him enough that he’d let me into his house."

"A method of action entirely against Starfleet protocol," Spock noted. He often pointed out Kirk's inability to follow regulations, but this time there was no hint of lightness in his voice. Just flat worry tinged with stressed disappointment. Kirk cringed at his statement, making Spock immediately regret speaking up. The captain averted his eyes, trying to shrug it off.

"One thing led to another and we…”

“Copulated.” Spock finished the sentence flatly, moving to clasp his hands behind him in order to suppress the odd urge to curl them into fists.

“Yeah.” Kirk shrugged. “No biggie, right? It’s just sex, I mean… I’ve had sex before. Obviously. It’s just been with women, y’know?” He didn’t wait for an answer, words tumbling out of him like a damn had burst. “And I shouldn’t take it seriously cause it was consensual and the guy was actually nice, he didn’t pressure me into anything, and I could’ve said no, feigned a headache or something and still gotten the information, he was ok with going slow or not at all, and he said that a million and a half times, so I wanted it, I guess, but he wasn’t really… attractive?” Kirk furrowed his brow. “Like I said, he was older, and kinda… not in shape, and even though he was nice and stuff I couldn’t get into it, and I guess that’s what’s messing with me, because sex should be something you enjoy, right? More than being consensual it should be enjoyable, and even when I was trying to picture something else it just wasn’t enjoyable for me despite him being nice and all, so the disconnect between me thinking he’s nice and me basically using him and lying about my real motives while he was using me for sex at the same time along with me not even enjoying it messed with my head and when Bones touched my arm I just kinda… reacted.”

He breathed in, long and slow and deep, before letting it all out in one rushed sigh. Silence followed, in which Kirk continued to avoid Spock’s gaze, and the Vulcan remained silent as he tried to processes the flood of information he had just been accosted with.

“Fascinating.” He murmured, causing Kirk’s head to snap up, a look of indignation on his face.

“Really?” Kirk tossed his arms up. “That’s all you have to say?”

“I don’t believe I can offer any other form of commentary, Jim.” Spock hesitated for a moment before moving to sit next to Kirk on the exam table. “You seem to have a great deal more insight into your own behavior than I ever could. I find your justifications to be logical in the sense that they are based on human emotion, and as a result, illogical, but an acceptable explanation regardless. As for your aversion to touch…” He paused, hands resting on his own knees, forcibly relaxed. “I can… empathize, to a point, given that Vulcans are sensitive to such things. I believe you could, and should, distance yourself from physical contact for a brief period to reorient yourself.” Spock cleared his throat. “Meditation can help in some ways. I would be willing to assist you, if you so wished.”

Kirk nodded, smiling in a way that Spock read as genuine rather than the face he put on to put others at ease. “Yeah, I’d… like that. Thanks.” Tension bled out of Kirk’s body, and Spock felt himself relax as well, though not as obviously as the captain.

“I would suggest you tell Dr. McCoy as well.” Spock offered. “He is your friend and would understand. Likely better than I can.”

“I’ll tell him, but I don’t think…” Kirk chuckled. “Strangely enough, Mr. Spock, I think you understand me more than anyone.”

Spock didn’t know how to reply, turning to meet Kirk’s eyes and searching for meaning.

“I would think, Captain, that each individual is so unique that they can never be truly and wholly understood.” He offered. “Only… accepted, in some manner, by the people around them.”

“Wise words, Mr. Spock. As always.” Kirk grinned, a gesture that loosened the knot in Spock’s chest that he hadn’t even known was there in the first place. “See you for our chess game later?”

“Affirmative.” Spock stood, allowing a slight smile to quirk the corner of his lips for the blink of an eye before heading back to his shift, arms hanging at his sides, hands and fingers completely still.


End file.
